WEBVTT
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(Soldiers of Fortune plays)
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AcademiaYou is an ethical,
remote learning platform,
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that safeguards computer user freedom.
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With AI superpower, UTOPIA is better.
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Super better!
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And if you commit today, you get a free
campus-wide site license for the first year.
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UTOPIA it is!
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So, for the foreseeable future
all classes will be online.
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We will be providing every student with UTOPIA.
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A distance learning platform
that makes learning fun!
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Professor,
UTOPIA is a proprietary platform.
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Aren’t you concerned about exposing
student records?
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Personal information?
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Or surveillance vulnerabilities?
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Well, UTOPIA comes from a major company.
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I’m sure it’s perfectly safe.
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Today's lecture will be about compensating
for the weakness that every hero inevitably has.
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(evil laugh)
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Thanks to Overlord, the evilest of evil,
we’re in!
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If it hadn’t been for your hostile takeover of UTOPIA,
we never could have executed our dastardly plan.
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Now, we can monitor and control
all the University of Costumed Heroes!
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(Laughs)
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COMMANDO MAN.
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All superheroes have one weakness.
What’s yours?
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Well, it’s a little embarrassing. But..
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I am allergic to kittens.
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(Mocking laughs)
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(Pushup sounds)
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Huh?! Oh?!
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NOOO!!!
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(Music swells and fades)
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Thanks to UTOPIA'S insidious terms of service,
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we now have complete control over
the next generation of superpowered do-gooders!
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(Laughs)
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Not so fast!
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(Flashing sounds)
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Why don’t we have
ELECTROSTATIC WOMAN’S weakness?!
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You made one fatal mistake!
I never signed up for UTOPIA.
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I used a system recommended by
the Free Software Foundation
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that safeguards computer user freedom
as a matter of justice!
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NOOO!
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Defeated by the Free Software Foundation
once again!!! Agh!
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(Electrostatic sounds)
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Computer user freedom is a matter of justice.
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Join the Free Software Foundation.
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The Free Software Foundation (FSF)
is a non-profit with a worldwide mission to promote computer user freedom.